Table of Contents
Part 1: An Introduction to Tantric Sex:
The Spiritual Path to Sacred Love .......................................................1
1 What Is Tantric Sex? ..................................................................3
What Is Tantra? .........................................................................4
Sacred Sex the Tantric Way ..............................................................4
How Tantric Sex Frees Your Mind, Body, and Soul .........................................5
Tantric Sex as the Path to Healing ......................................................6
Tantric Sex as Magic ....................................................................6
A Powerful Chemical Cocktail to Bliss ...................................................6
Find and Follow the Pathways of Energy ..................................................7
How the West Revived Eastern Tantric Sex Practices ......................................7
Sacred Sex .............................................................................10
Myths About Tantra and Tantric Sex .....................................................11
Why Tantric Sex Now? ...................................................................12
Twelve Benefits of Tantric Sex Practices ...............................................13
Are You Ready for Tantra? ..............................................................15
The Ten Pledges of the Tantric Sex Path ................................................16
2 The Basics: Yes, Yin Yang, Yoni, and Yab Yum .........................................19
Yin and Yang: What Is Male and What Is Female? .........................................20
The Circle of Coupled Consciousness ....................................................20
Shiva and Shakti .......................................................................21
Getting in Touch with Opposites ........................................................22
Achieving Balance and Union of Opposites ...............................................22
Position Yourselves for Love in Yab Yum ................................................23
Sex as Energy—Not Activity .............................................................24
My Partner, My Beloved .................................................................24
What Do You Call Your Sex Organs? The New Terms
for Yoni and Lingam ....................................................................25
A New View of Desire ...................................................................26
Empowered to Say “Yes” or “No” .........................................................26
Taking Care of Your Body Temple ........................................................27
3 Spinning Your Wheels and Breathing to Ecstasy ........................................29
The Importance of Your Breath ..........................................................29
Why We Don’t Breathe Correctly .........................................................30
The Chakra Wheels ......................................................................31
Breathe Through the Chakras ............................................................33
The Third Eye as Window to the Soul ....................................................37
Making All the Connections from Coccyx to Crown ........................................37
Your Inner Smile .......................................................................38
Be Both Participant and Observer .......................................................39
Mantras ................................................................................39
Yantras ................................................................................39
Mandalas ...............................................................................40
4Awaken and Worship the God and Goddess in You .........................................43
What Is “God/Goddess”? .................................................................44
Integrate All Your Roles ...............................................................44
Seeing Beyond the Superficial ..........................................................45
The Importance of Worshipping Each Other ...............................................46
Clearing Up Confusion About Gods and Goddesses .........................................46
Getting to Know the Ancient Goddesses ..................................................46
Major and Well-Known Goddesses .........................................................46
Other Goddesses Around the World .......................................................49
Gods from Different Cultures ...........................................................51
Modern-Day God/Goddess Icons ...........................................................53
Gods and Their Goddess Counterparts ....................................................53
The Essence of the God/Goddesses Within You ............................................54
Using Deities in Your Sex Practice .....................................................55
Festivals and Other God/Goddess Gatherings .............................................55
Fertility Festivals in Japan ...........................................................55
Burning Man Festival in Nevada .........................................................56
Goddess Gatherings .....................................................................56
Temples ................................................................................57
Part 2: Getting Started in Sacred Sex ..................................................59
5Prep Your Body Temple of Love .........................................................61
Your Body as the Bridge to Bliss .......................................................61
Building Body Love: Through the Looking Glass ..........................................62
Describe Your Sexual Parts Inside and Out ..............................................63
If Your Penis or Yoni Could Talk .......................................................64
Go on a Genital Exploration ............................................................64
The Two Colors of Tantra: Merging the Sexual and the Physical ..........................65
The Yoga Connection ....................................................................66
Some Simple Yoga Movements .............................................................66
Hold It: These Are Called Bandhas ......................................................66
Love Muscle Exercises for Men and Women ................................................68
Follow a Conscious Workout .............................................................68
The Spinal Tap .........................................................................69
Food for Thought: You Are What You Eat .................................................70
6Amp Up or Damp Down Your Sexual Energy ................................................73
Ways to Calm Down ......................................................................74
Air Yoga as a Stress Reducer ...........................................................74
Amping Up for Good Loving ..............................................................75
Control Your Breathing .................................................................75
Practice the Sacrum Tap ................................................................75
Do the Chakra Thump ....................................................................76
Practice Streaming .....................................................................76
Dance Up an Energy Storm ...............................................................76
Get that Pelvis Moving! ................................................................77
Fantasize ..............................................................................78
Let Yourself Go! .......................................................................78
Do the “Shakti Shake” ..................................................................78
Take Lama Breaths ......................................................................79
Ask Your Partner for Help ..............................................................80
7Setting the Stage for Your Tantric Nights of Pleasure .................................81
Making Time Enough for Love ............................................................82
The Conscious Cleanup ..................................................................82
The Tantric Bathing Ritual .............................................................84
God and Goddess Dress Up ...............................................................86
Your Ideal Romantic Setting ............................................................87
Prepare Your Sacred Lovemaking Space ...................................................88
Change Your Setting ....................................................................89
Music to Make Love By ..................................................................89
Building an Altar ......................................................................90
Honoring Rituals to Sanctify Your Space ................................................90
Quiet the Mind .........................................................................92
Set Your Intention Together ............................................................92
Going Out on Your Tantra Date ..........................................................93
8 Practices for Beloveds to Reach Bliss ................................................95
What Is Bliss? .........................................................................95
Synchronizing Your Energy ..............................................................96
Look into My Eyes: Eye Gazing ..........................................................97
The Heart Hold .........................................................................98
The Partner Passion Pod ................................................................99
Stimulating the Senses .................................................................99
Call It Sacred: Finding Your Tantric Love Triggers ....................................102
Sex in the Flow Lane ..................................................................102
Advanced Body Exploration .............................................................103
Her “Yoni Show” for Him ...............................................................103
His “Love Arrow Show” for Her .........................................................103
Making Sacred Water Magic .............................................................104
Staying in Bliss: The Afterplay .......................................................104
9Breaking Through Blocks to Bliss .....................................................107
When Big Emotions Burst Forth .........................................................108
Making Time for Each Other ............................................................109
Couple’s Morning Blessing .............................................................109
The Ten-Minute Connect ................................................................109
Diffusing Your Anger ..................................................................110
Overcoming Feelings of Separation .....................................................111
Balancing Your Male and Female Energies ...............................................111
The Sexual Relations Review ...........................................................111
Seven Ways to Balance Sexual Energy ...................................................113
Frustration Over Who’s on Top .........................................................115
Getting Past Desperation and Attachment ...............................................115
Purging Panic and Obsessions ..........................................................116
More Ways to Clear Blocks .............................................................117
Part 3: Making Major Progress on the Path to Ecstacy ..................................119
10 Giving Her the Best Nights Ever ....................................................121
The Value of Taking Turns at Pleasure .................................................122
What Do Women Really Want? ............................................................122
Step 1: Set Your Intention ............................................................122
Step 2: Remind Yourself That This Is Her Night ........................................123
Step 3: Be Prepared to Serve Your Goddess .............................................123
Step 4: Face Your Fears ...............................................................123
Step 5: Decide How You Will Call On Her ...............................................123
Boudoir Basics ........................................................................124
Night of Pleasure 1: Promises to the Goddess in the Pleasure Palace ...................125
Relaxing Her ..........................................................................125
Night of Pleasure 2: Getting Closer ...................................................127
The Resolution Phase ..................................................................129
Night of Pleasure 3: When Love and Love Liquid Flow ...................................129
The One Thing Women Need Most .........................................................131
The One Thing Women Want Most .........................................................131
11 Giving Him the Best Nights Ever ....................................................133
Night 1: Taking Your Man into Tantric Bliss ...........................................134
Preparing Him for Pleasure ............................................................134
Leading Him to the Tantric Love Temple ................................................135
Preparing Him for His Night of Love ...................................................135
Step l: Put Him at Ease ...............................................................135
Step 2: Bathe Him .....................................................................136
Step 3: Enter the Love Temple .........................................................136
Step 4: Promise Him Pleasure ..........................................................136
The Tantric Shiva Massage, a Time to Surrender ........................................137
Languishing Over His Lingam ...........................................................138
The Second Pleasure Night .............................................................139
A Variation on Massage ................................................................140
Include More Lingam Strokes When Pleasuring ...........................................140
Pleasing His God Spots ................................................................141
Building His Sexual Charge ............................................................141
The Secret to Moving His Energy .......................................................142
The Third Night of Pleasure ...........................................................143
Entering His Sacred Space .............................................................143
Exploring and Exciting His God Spot ...................................................143
12 Make Lovemaking Last … and Last … and Last .........................................145
How Long Is He Supposed to Last? ......................................................146
When It’s All Over Too Fast ...........................................................146
Her Reaction to Three-Minute Sex ......................................................146
His Reaction to Three-Minute Sex ......................................................147
Why Men Come So Fast ..................................................................149
No Expectations, Please! ..............................................................149
Ejaculation and Orgasm Are Different ..................................................150
The Stages of the Male Sexual Response Cycle ..........................................151
Traditional Control Tactics ...........................................................151
“Sealing the Penis,” or Sexual Kung Fu ................................................152
Tantric Sex Versus Other Methods of Prolonging
Lovemaking ............................................................................153
The Transmutation Breath ..............................................................154
Tips on How She Can Help ..............................................................155
If He Ejaculates Before She Is Ready ..................................................156
13 A New View of Love, Sex, and Orgasm:
The Big TTO ...........................................................................159
What’s Love Got to Do with It? ........................................................160
A New View of Orgasm and the Sexual
Response Cycle ........................................................................160
The Cosmorgasm ........................................................................162
The Mega-Orgasm .......................................................................162
The Clearing Orgasm ...................................................................162
Reaching Multiple and Simultaneous Orgasms ............................................163
The Tantric Wave ......................................................................163
The Stock Market Orgasm ...............................................................164
How to Have the Big TTO ...............................................................164
Taking Sex Drive to a New Level .......................................................165
The Shiva Shakti Mudra ................................................................165
Variations on the Shiva Shakti Mudra ..................................................165
Connecting the Sexual Energy to Other Energy
Centers ...............................................................................166
Using Movements to Send Sexual Energy .................................................166
Using Sound to Transmute Music Energy .................................................166
Where Do You Feel the Big O? Alphabet Orgasms .........................................169
The G Spot ............................................................................169
The X Spot ............................................................................169
The AFE Zone ..........................................................................169
The PFE Zone ..........................................................................169
The Anywhere-in-Your-Body Orgasm ......................................................170
14 Getting Fit Together for Tantric Sex ...............................................171
The Importance of Physical Activity Together ..........................................171
The Love Muscle Exercises for the Man and the Woman ...................................172
Partner Pelvic Thrusts ................................................................172
I Could Have Danced All Night .........................................................173
An Eight-Step White Tantra Twosome Routine ............................................173
Couple Connect ........................................................................174
Circling Couple Celebration ...........................................................175
Squat-to-Stand Support ................................................................175
Partner Pelvis Press ..................................................................176
Dangling Duos .........................................................................176
The Couple Cobras .....................................................................178
Lovers Table ..........................................................................178
Couple Cuddle .........................................................................179
Bedroom Bodybuilding ..................................................................179
Yogaboxing ............................................................................181
Part 4: Going Deeper: More Love and Better
Sex Than You Ever Imagined ............................................................185
15 Make It Juicy with Magic and Play ..................................................187
The Spirit of Play ....................................................................188
How Much Juice Is There? ..............................................................188
The Importance of Play in Sex .........................................................188
Affirmations About Joyful Sexual Union ................................................188
Laugh Your Way to Better Health .......................................................189
Dancing for Each Other ................................................................189
Mirror, Mirror ........................................................................190
The Hand Dance ........................................................................191
Using Your Body Parts .................................................................191
Belly Dancing .........................................................................192
Ecstatic Dance ........................................................................192
The Temple Dance ......................................................................193
Feasting on Your Love .................................................................193
Games Lovers Play .....................................................................194
Creating Sex Magic Through Tantric Sex ................................................196
Toys for Tantric Play .................................................................197
Gifts from the Heart ..................................................................199
Where to Find Tantric Love Toys and Gifts .............................................200
16 Advanced Tantric Lovemaking Techniques .............................................201
What Makes a Practice “Advanced”? .....................................................201
A Slow Ride into Timeless Love ........................................................202
The Magical Maithuna Love Ritual ......................................................203
The Snake Dance .......................................................................203
Advanced White Tantra Twosome .........................................................204
Advanced Passion Positions and Acts ...................................................206
Enflaming of the Dragon Goddess .......................................................207
The Kabazzah ..........................................................................208
The Full Stop .........................................................................208
The Two New Erogenous Zones ...........................................................208
Tongue Fu .............................................................................209
Mudras ................................................................................209
Advanced Visualization in Tantric Sex .................................................209
Advanced Tuning In: You, Too, Can Be Psychic! .........................................210
Eight Steps in Deity Yoga .............................................................210
Base Chakra Pleasuring ................................................................211
Advanced Aids in Tantric Play .........................................................212
Entering the Time and Space Machine ...................................................213
Past Lives Connected to God/Goddess ...................................................213
Astral Projection .....................................................................213
17 Sexual Healing to Set You Free .....................................................215
What Is a Sexual Healing? .............................................................216
Who Can Be a Healer? ..................................................................216
What Happens in a Healing .............................................................217
Healing the Goddess ...................................................................217
When the Goddess Love Liquid Flows ....................................................219
Healing the God .......................................................................219
Overcoming the Two Major Hurdles in His Healing .......................................219
Instructions for His Healer ...........................................................220
Healing the Pain of Abuse .............................................................221
Handling Emotions in a Healing ........................................................222
Rules for the Healer ..................................................................222
Rules for the Receiver ................................................................224
At the End of a Session ...............................................................224
Are Healings Effective? ...............................................................226
18 Sex, Song, and Videotape ...........................................................229
Tantric Music .........................................................................229
What Makes Tantric Music Special? .....................................................231
Let the Music Flow Through You ........................................................232
Sounding Chakras ......................................................................232
Chants That Charge Your Connection ....................................................233
Tantric Videos That Tantalize as Well as Teach ........................................234
The Kama Sutra Series: Videos with a Tantric Twist ....................................235
Honoring the Goddess on Video .........................................................236
Other Videos ..........................................................................236
Tantra-Related Workouts to Watch ......................................................237
Related Videos on Sex .................................................................237
Tantra on Radio, TV, the Silver Screen, and the Internet ..............................238
Part 5: Dating and Mating Tantra Style ................................................241
19 Singles, Sex, and Tantra ...........................................................243
You Are the Beloved ...................................................................244
Meeting Your Match ....................................................................245
Conscious Flirting ....................................................................245
Who Is Mr. or Ms. Right? ..............................................................246
The Beloved Shows Up in Surprise Form, If Only
for Now ...............................................................................247
Quiz: Are You Ready for Your True Tantric Sex Partner? ................................248
Sensing, Not Scoring ..................................................................249
Finding Your Soul Mate on the Tantric Path ............................................249
Getting Ready for the Beloved .........................................................251
Bringing in the Beloved ...............................................................251
Where to Go ...........................................................................252
Two Love Lessons You Wish You’d Learned When
You Were Young ........................................................................253
Safe Sex When Practicing Tantra .......................................................254
20 Tying the Knot Tantra Style ........................................................257
The Unique Aspects of a Tantric Marriage Ceremony .....................................258
Feast for the Tantric Wedding .........................................................259
Music for the Tantra Marriage .........................................................259
Guest Participation ...................................................................260
Special Ceremonies for Tantric Lovers .................................................260
Christina and William’s Tantric Marriage Ceremony .....................................260
Rundy and Lisa’s Four-Day Wedding Ritual ..............................................265
Mark and Patricia’s Hindu Fire Ceremony ...............................................267
Keeping the Fires Burning .............................................................268
21 When He Resists or She Strays ......................................................271
When One of You Is Convinced But the
Other Isn’t Sure ......................................................................272
Hell No, I Won’t Go! ..................................................................273
Know What’s Best for You ..............................................................274
Honor Your Agreements .................................................................274
Don’t Sneak Off to a Tantra Talk ......................................................274
Share Your Growth .....................................................................275
When the Going Gets Tough .............................................................275
When a Relationship Has to End ........................................................275
Tantric Tolerance .....................................................................276
What to Do About Tantric Sex Affairs ..................................................276
An Affair as Energy Booster ...........................................................277
Considerations About Tantric Affairs ..................................................278
The Energy Booster Checklist ..........................................................279
Part 6: Tantra for Everybody in the New Millennium ....................................281
22 A Lifetime of Tantra: Learning to Love at All Ages .................................283
Want to Feel and Look Young Again? ....................................................283
The Real Fountain of Youth in Amrita Flow .............................................284
Tantra in Older Years .................................................................284
Facing the Changes ....................................................................285
Easing Her Time Through Menopause .....................................................285
When He Has a Mid-Life Crisis .........................................................286
Seven Keys to Happier Life Transitions Through
Tantric Love ..........................................................................287
Filling the Empty Nest ................................................................288
When a Partner Dies ...................................................................288
Tantra for College Students ...........................................................288
Tantra for Teens ......................................................................289
Healthier Kids When You’re a Tantra Parent ............................................290
How the School System Can Be Tantric ..................................................291
The Payoff of Sensory Training at All Ages ............................................292
23 Lifestyles and Situations: Tantra for All Relationships ............................293
Cybertantra ...........................................................................293
The Pros of Cybertantra ...............................................................294
The Cons of Cybertantra ...............................................................295
Seeing Beyond the Physical ............................................................295
Lasting Love for Seemingly Odd Couples ................................................295
Facing Society’s Opinions .............................................................296
The New World of Sexuality ............................................................296
Tantric Sex for Men Who Love Men ......................................................297
Tantric Sex for Goddesses .............................................................298
Tantric Love for Those with Disabilities ..............................................299
Healing Relationships with Your Parents ...............................................300
Tantra with Your Pets .................................................................300
Tantra with Your Plants ...............................................................301
24 Which Path Is Right for You? .......................................................303
The Importance of Guidance ............................................................304
Finding the Right Guide ...............................................................305
The Different Traditions of Sacred Sexuality ..........................................308
Osho: The Spiritually Incorrect Mystic ................................................310
Different Trainings ...................................................................310
Types of Healers and Other Practitioners ..............................................311
Starting and Keeping Up Your Practice .................................................312
Continuing Your Tantra Education ......................................................312
A Few Things to Be Aware Of ...........................................................313
Costs .................................................................................315
Do Tantra Weekends Work? ..............................................................315
New Trends in Tantric Experiences .....................................................316
Integrating Tantric Sex with Other Techniques .........................................317
25 A Healing Force for Now and the Future .............................................319
You Are Not Alone .....................................................................320
Sending Energy, Especially in the Face of Tragedy .....................................320
Healing the Cycles of Abuse ...........................................................322
A Healthy Way to Get High .............................................................323
Tantra as a Healing Force in the Face of Illness ......................................324
How Tantra Promotes Tolerance and Diversity ...........................................324
How Tantric Sex Can Help Heal the World ...............................................325
